Finding Light Through the Darkness
by prsweetie
Summary: Michael's shooting sets off a chain of events that changes the lives of the people that love him. Some find answers, while others find closure, but nothing will ever be the same. Slightly AU
1. Jason

Love had once been many emotions that Jason Morgan was unfamiliar with. It wasn't until Robin Scorpio came into his life that he even knew the definition of feelings and love. Jason was then able to understand his emotions and convey them into his every day life.

When Carly first came to his door, pregnant and in trouble, Jason wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing by agreeing to be the father of her baby. However, from the first time that Michael was placed in his arms, Jason knew that he would do anything to protect him. There was nothing more painful then to watch his best friend and boss raise the little boy that Jason considered his. Letting go of Michael hurt more than Sonny and Carly's betrayal ever could.

The second that Jason found out that Michael had been shot; Jason felt a sharp pain flow through his heart. It was at that moment that he knew things would never be the same. He tried his best to remain strong but when his eyes met with Carly's at the hospital, he knew that regardless of who was Michael's father on paper he had been there first. His tough exterior crumbled as Carly reminded him of just that.

Elizabeth tried to be a supportive should but no matter how hard she tried, it just didn't seem to be what Jason needed. To make matters worse, she started harping on how dangerous his life was, as if this was something that he wasn't already aware of. In fact, it was something that she had always been aware of too, from the shooting that lead to him living in her art studio to the night when she thought her marriage was over and they conceived Jake. The danger in his life was always there, Elizabeth just picked times to be concerned about it.

Jason was becoming increasingly frustrated with Elizabeth's concern because Jason already felt as though his world was falling apart. There was not much more that he could deal with. He wanted to be sympathetic to Liz's concerns, but his heart just wasn't in it. When she chose to pull away again, Jason's didn't even allow himself to dwell on it too much. Once he was certain that Michael was going to be ok, he would deal with the insanity that had become his life.

* * *

After dealing with Ian Devlin, Jason got on his bike to go for a ride. Killing Ian didn't give Jason any satisfaction because he still didn't know who hired him and it still didn't bring any change to Michael. Riding was the only that Jason could do where he would be allowed to be alone with his thoughts. There was no one asking questions or in his face wanting to know how he felt.

Guilt was the most reasonable word surrounding Jason. His life, his profession always seemed to threaten the people surrounding him. He always lost the people closest to him because he carried a gun and now his job was threatening to take the most important person away from him. He may as well have pulled the trigger himself.

He didn't know how or why he was now standing outside this door. He was supposed to hate and the feeling should be mutual but he didn't know where else to go. Cautiously he knocked on the door before he lost his nerve. A few seconds the door opened and he looked down at the petite brunette.

"Jason? Hi. What are you doing here?" Sam McCall was shocked to say the least at seeing her former fiancée outside her door. While their breakup had been painful, the events that happened afterwards were simply unbearable.

She loved Jason with all of her heart but the fact that he had a baby with another woman was more than she could deal with. Especially since she was unable to conceive one of her own. Leaving Jason hurt her more than anything else in her life and she tried everything in her power to hurt him back. Things got so bad that he even threatened her life.

To be honest, Sam still loved Jason and not a day went by that she didn't think about him. She was happy with Lucky but there was no passion, just two hurt souls clinging to each other in order to feel.

"I don't know, really. I just, I didn't know where else to go." Sam nodded with understanding as she moved to let him in. Jason sunk into the couch while Sam went to grab him a beer. She sat in the chair, afraid to be too close. They sat in a weird silence before Jason finally spoke.

"She doesn't understand." Jason said simply. "She is scared for Jake and I get that but Michael is fighting for his life and I just…I can't be there for everyone, I just can't." Jason tiredly ran a hand over his face as he leaned his head back on the couch.

Sam bit her tongue as to not let out an easy insult on her most hated rival. Instead she propped her legs up on the chair and prepared to listen.

"It's easy for her to be there when things are easy, but my life is just something that she will never get. No one ever got it, but you. You were the only one that ever got it. You didn't question it or try to change me. You were just there, gun and all."

Sam let out a soft smile. "I guess that's why I'm here. I just needed to breathe. Needed to clear my head and figure out why this happened to Michael. Why does a small little boy have to pay our choices? That could be Jake. That could be my son."

"In a way that is your son, Jase. You love Michael as if he was your own. You don't have to explain your feelings to anyone. Not when it comes to this."

Icy blue eyes met intense brown ones as Jason looked at Sam. "Thank you." He whispered it so softly, Sam wasn't sure that she heard it.

"Sam, I'm sorry. I get it now. When you were doing all that shit after we broke up, I was so angry at you. But I get it now, the pain that you must have felt. This pain...it just eats at you. I don't know how to stop it. I just want any and everyone to feel this bad. I've been doing a lot of thinking and I guess I just now know how badly I hurt you and I'm really, really sorry."

Sam moved from her spot on the chair to sit down next to him. "It's ok. I didn't exactly make things easy. I'm not blameless." Jason grabbed a tight hold of Sam's hand and looked down at his jeans.

"Nothing makes sense anymore. I'm trying to believe that Michael will be ok, but I can't make myself believe something that I know isn't true. Even if he wakes up, he will never be the same." The tears that Jason had been holding in for weeks finally spilled over. He cried with an intensity that Sam was not familiar with. The only thing Sam could do was hold him as he cried.

Being this close again made Sam's heart ache. She never got over Jason and touching him again lit a fire in her soul. She continued to hold him until his tears subsided and he was now staring at her.

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore." Jason exclaimed as he placed his hands on Sam's face in a manner that was both familiar and foreign. Before he could even register what he was doing, his mouth found hers as they shard an explosive kiss.

Trying to not allow herself to think too much, Sam instead chose to give in to her desire for Jason. She knew that he would leave and act like nothing ever happened, but as their bodies became connected again, she didn't care. After gaining her breath, she waited for Jason to pull his clothes on and leave without a word. He surprised her when he grabbed her hand and pulled her in the bedroom.

They laid down in the bed without saying a word. She felt Jason's arms wrap around her and he instantly fell asleep as if he hadn't slept in weeks. She let her fingers run up and down his arm as she too gave into darkness.

She didn't know what the morning would bring, but at this point she didn't care. She was in the arms of the only man that she ever loved and even if it was just for a night, she was going to enjoy every second.


	2. Carly

She couldn't even remember when she looked like herself. Her blonde hair was dull and lifeless and her face was void of all makeup. Her eyes that were once bright and vibrant now held a permanent redness due to weeks of shed tears. Normally, a woman like herself wouldn't be caught dead out in public this. However, Carly Jacks could care less how people perceived her. All she was concerned about was the tiny boy lying in the hospital, fighting for his life. Her son, her first born hadn't opened his eyes in weeks and the tubes and the machines reminded Carly that all choices have consequences.

Carly had always lived life by her own rules, always looking out for herself. She was conniving, vindictive, the epitome of a hell raiser and she loved it. Never having to answer to anyone was Carly's motto in life. Then she got pregnant and her whole life changed. Carly was now responsible for someone other than herself. She thought that keeping Michael away from A.J Quatermaine, his biological father was in her son's best interest. This choice caused the string of events that landed Michael in the hospital in the first place.

There was leaving Jason with Michael as she was sent to a mental home by the orders of the Quatermaines. Then there was her first night with Sonny which resulted in her becoming pregnant and the first of many marriages between the two. No matter how many times she tried to walk away from Sonny, or have Sonny walk away from the business, it was something that she could never do. She decided long ago that Sonny would always be her greatest passion and her biggest peeve.

Even though she had seen and been through a lot of things over the course of time that she knew Sonny, she never thought that danger would every come to her children. As silly as that may seem, it was true. The only time that Michael was in real danger was when he had been kidnapped by his biological father and that was as much Carly's fault as anyone else.

Now Sonny's business had landed her baby boy in the hospital and Carly needed some one to blame, anyone that she could yell at or kill to make her feel a little bit better. But as of yet, there were no leads so all she could do was lash out at the people around her. No one had been exempt from Carly's rampage, not Sonny, Jax, the doctors, nurses or Kate.

Even the thought of the name Kate Howard made Carly see red. She could not believe that Sonny's first instinct was to save her instead of his own son. What the hell could he have been thinking?

She allowed herself to finally leave Michael's side to stand outside, giving Sonny some alone time with him. She knew this was killing him as much as it was killing her, but she couldn't stop the anger that was seeping through her body. Leaning her tired body on the wall, she met eyes with three young women who she loathed.

First there was Robin Scorpio, the epitome of perfection. From her tiny, innocent looks to her intelligence, Robin had always left a sour taste in Carly's mouth. She never liked her, and she never would. The two of them were never going to be sharing a coffee and a laugh. But Carly also knew that for Michael's first year, Robin had been a major part of Jason and Michael's life. She was able to step in and be the mother that Carly wasn't allowed to be.

While she still loathed the woman, she did appreciate what Robin had done for Michael, even if she never would have admitted it. Looking at Robin, Carly was able to give her a look of appreciation without having to say anything at all. Robin seemed to be satisfied with what she saw and went back to her paperwork.

Then there was the prissy and annoying Elizabeth Webber. Other than Kate, Carly hated Elizabeth most of all. She hated her for trying to always play the innocent role, when in Carly's mind; she was just as vindictive as her. The only difference was Elizabeth hid behind a halo. She never once took responsibility for her actions, instead choosing to bat her eyes and throw down some tears until someone took pity on her.

Carly would never forgive Elizabeth for getting under Jason's skin and for torturing him by giving him a son but not allowing him to even be a part of his son's life. Jason was an amazing man, and an even more incredible father and he deserved to know Jake and for Jake to know him.

Carly rolled her eyes at the young woman, knowing that the only reason she was lurking around was because she was waiting to see a glimpse of Jason. It was so pathetic. Even with everything going on, Elizabeth still wanted to be the center of Jason's world. It was times like this that Carly missed Sam. Sam was one of the few women in the damn town that she could tolerate. Sam never backed down from Carly and she was always there for Jason.

As much as she gave Sam shit after her and Jason broke up, deep down she was silently proud of her. If Carly had been in Sam's shoes she would have used every nasty trick up her sleeve as well in order to make someone pay for her pain.

Last but not last was Kate Howard, the bitch that had Sonny's mind so warped that he put his own son in danger. Carly never liked Kate and not just because she was with Sonny. Kate had this arrogant air around her that seemed so fake to Carly. Everything about her from her perfect bob to her string of pearls just seemed like an act, like she was trying so desperately to prove that she was somebody.

Glancing back into the room, she saw Sonny with tears in his eyes, as he held Michael's hand and was saying a prayer. Clearing her throat, she walked over to the three women.

"You two stay the hell away."

"Carly, I work here."

"I'm just waiting for Sonny."

Carly ignored both women, instead choosing to look over at Robin. "Robin, is it possible to make sure that Elizabeth isn't working around Michael? She is just using it as an excuse to be near Jason and I don't need her using my son as an attempt to start her pathetic lies and bullshit sympathy."

"Carly, you can't—"

"Shut up, Lizzie. Robin, can you do that, please?" Robin simply nodded as she grabbed Elizabeth's arm to guide her away.

Carly sized up Kate. "As far as you, I don't care what you do for Sonny outside of this hospital. You can hold him, fuck him, lie to him, I don't care. But I told you before and I will tell you again, you are not welcome here. My son wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. In my eyes you are just as much to blame as the man who shot my son. So do me a favor and learn the concept of staying the hell away, because if you don't, I swear to you I will make you wish that you had taken that bullet."

Kate looked behind Carly and Carly's eyes followed hers. There standing was Sonny and Jax. They both looked at her wanting to say something but knowing better. Instead Carly looked back at Kate.

"I meant what I said. Stay the hell away." Carly brushed past her current and former husbands and went back to sit with her baby as she prayed for a change.


	3. Kate and Liz

Everyone hated her. Carly, Jason, even Sonny was looking at her like she was the biggest mistake he had ever made. Seeing the three of them interact, it became clear to Kate Howard that she was not wanted or needed in their tight circle. She was just another outsider, not welcome into yet another part of Sonny's world.

It was another reminder that no matter how much she loved Sonny, there were always going to be many places where she would not be invited in. She was no longer the teenager that occupied all of Sonny's thoughts. Many years had changed both of them. For Kate, she changed her entire identity and transformed herself into a no nonsense businesswoman who thought that love was the last thing she needed.

Sonny had parlayed his bad boy reputation into a full fledged career. Kate still remembers keeping tabs on Sonny and his love life. She read all the stories about the gorgeous model Brenda Barrett, the mob princess Lily Rivera and the conniving, lunatic that was Carly Spencer. Their lives couldn't be more opposite but no matter how many years had separated them; Sonny's charm still found a way to make Kate's knees weak.

After everything they had been through, Kate was finally confident that things were going to be great between Sonny and herself. That was before Michael got shot as Sonny pushed Kate out of the way. Now everything had gone to hell and Kate wasn't sure if anything would ever be the same.

Sonny's face had aged years in a matter of weeks. He seemed to have lost the ability to crack a smile, and he had begun pushing Kate further and further away. She was trying really hard not to be upset or jealous, but to no avail. She was Sonny's girlfriend; he was supposed to share things with her. She was supposed to be let in, during good times and bad.

Instead, she was pushed to the sidelines, forced to watch as others who knew Sonny better were allowed to comfort. Even Mike, who had not been in Sonny's life for 30-plus years, was able to get in further than Kate would ever be allowed to.

The final straw had been Sonny's inability to step up to Carly. Carly had spent the past few weeks yelling and berating Kate at any given moment. Kate tried to reason that this was just Carly's way of dealing with the pain, but it was starting to get more and more degrading with each word Carly spoke and no one had stepped up to say anything.

Kate went to the Metro Court for a much needed break from the whirlwind world of Sonny Cornithos. She sipped on her wine as she willed the headache to please leave. She had just left her office where she had got done yelling at Lulu and Maxie. She knew that she was coming off as a big bitch, but her job was the only thing that she had control over anymore and she was determined to keep it that way.

"Penny for your thoughts?" She looked up at the blonde man who took a seat beside her.

"How do you do it? How do you compete with that?"

"Cornithos and I have been competing since I first walked into this damn town. We have fought over business, money, women. I have learned a long time ago that I will always be second best."

"What do you mean?"

Jax sighed as he signaled the waiter over to him. He placed his order and then turned back to Kate. "You ever hear of Brenda Barrett?" Kate nodded her head.

"Well, she wanted to get Sonny back after they had broken up so she used me. Although I thought I won in the end because I married her. That was until she left me again for Sonny. And then of course, Sonny left her standing at the alter because he didn't want her involved in his mob business, and true to form, she came back to me.

We were really happy for awhile. I knew that she would never love me as much as she loved Sonny but I wanted so desperately to make her happy and to be with her, I was willing to accept it. Then her wack job of a mother drove her and Brenda off a cliff and I spent four years believing she was dead."

Kate nodded. "I remember reading about it when she came back to Port Charles. You guys were getting married again, right?"

"Yeah, but when she stepped foot back in Port Charles, Sonny was the first one she ran to. She even married Jason in an attempt to make sure that she didn't run back to Sonny. To make a long story short, we got back together, but the night before we were to get married, she was back in Sonny's arms, kissing him on the docks."

"But even after all that, you married Carly, someone else connected to Sonny. Why?"

"If I tried to avoid every woman who was ever involved with Sonny, I mine as well move back to Australia."

Kate had to laugh at that. "Why aren't you at the hospital?"

"The same reason you aren't: I'm not needed there. I'm just the husband and step-father, which doesn't make me one of the three musketeers."

"So can I buy you a drink?"

Jax looked down at Kate and smiled. "I think we are going to need more than just one."

* * *

Elizabeth never understood the power that Carly seemed to have over Jason. No matter what Carly did and how many people she hurt, Jason was always there. Elizabeth knew that she should be more sensitive to Michael's shooting, but she couldn't stop herself from seeing one of her boys lying there instead of Michael.

It was just another reminder that she and Jason would never be able to live a normal, safe life without having to always look over their shoulders. But the one thing that bothered her more than anything was the fact that he hadn't even stop her when she said she couldn't be with him anymore.

Instead, he nodded his head and left without even a fight. She thought that he was supposed to love her, that he wanted nothing more in the world than to be with her and Jake.

Maybe she was being selfish, but she was the mother of his child, not Carly. No matter how much he loved Michael, Michael was not his son. Elizabeth felt as though Jason should be taking the appropriate measures to be protecting Jake instead of running around trying to find Michael's shooter. Isn't that Sonny's job?

After yet another run-in with Carly, Robin told Elizabeth to take the rest of the day off and go be with her boys. Walking into her home, she smiled at Lucky sitting down on the living room. To any other person, they would have looked like a happy, in love couple. Instead, they were a couple that were bound together by secrets and lies.

Elizabeth always regretted the fact that she wasn't able to give Lucky a child of his own. It would be one of her many regrets in life. Instead, Lucky was raising two children who would never share his DNA.

The two of them sat down and made small talk, each being careful to not talk about any sensitive subjects. Lucky soon got up, and said that he was going to stop by Sam's to see her.

Sam. That was another bark up Elizabeth's ass. She stopped Lucky and asked him to stay. She explained that she was drained and she wanted to take a bath and she wanted him to be there in case one of the boys woke up. He agreed and she headed upstairs.

Before long, Elizabeth had returned in nothing more than a thin robe. She offered Lucky a drink and then next thing she knew the robe was on the floor, along with their tangled bodies.

After Lucky had left without saying much, Elizabeth sat down on her couch and cried as she wondered why she was always left alone.


	4. Robin

Sometimes it's easy to forget how things have changed so drastically over the years. Back when Robin Scorpio was just a teenager, she was struggling with the death of her first love, Stone Cates, and the beginning a life long battle with HIV.

Then her close friend Jason Quatermaine became Jason Morgan thanks to an awful car accident. Robin still remembers how sweet Jason was before he became the man he was now. For Robin to still be so young, she had seen so much in the little town of Port Charles. She had been there when Carly first entered Jason's life and helped to transform him into the stone-faced killer that he had become. She blamed Sonny too, but Carly had always had the biggest influence on Jason.

Robin knew when she told the truth about Michael's biological identity, she had lost Jason for good. The thought of the way Jason looked at her when he confronted her still sent chills down her spine.

As she placed a protective hand over her tiny but growing belly, she couldn't help but to be somewhat relieved. She could have easily been one of them had her and Jason still been together or even if Stone had never passed.

Robin never thought that she was into the bad boys. She normally thought that was reserved for people like her best friend Brenda Barrett, but sure enough the majority of the men that she had been with definitely fit the bill of bad boy. Even the father of her child, Patrick Drake, was a devil in doctor's clothing.

Even though she hadn't really known Michael during his adolescent years, she still felt as though she had a connection with him dating back from when he was a baby living with her and Jason. Looking down at his test results, she noticed the papers were becoming wet with her silent tears.

Her heart went out to Carly, Sonny and Jason. Jason, who had once been her lover but now was merely a simple "hi and bye" friend. Carly, who while they would never be friends; Robin was a little more sympathetic to her now being that she was becoming a mother. Then there was Sonny. In so many ways, Sonny fit the bill of the big brother. Even though they didn't always agree and at times, spent years not speaking to each other, she knew that when it was important, he would always be there for her.

She hated seeing like this especially because she knew first hand all the pain that he has been through over the years. He had lost so many people in his life: his mother, Stone, Lily, two unborn children, and countless others. Robin secretly wondered how Sonny was able to stand sometimes with so much anguish going on around him.

After Carly yelled at both Elizabeth and Kate, Robin walked over to Patrick and asked him if he could take over while she went for a breather. She walked along the docks, letting the spring breeze wrap around her like a blanket. She walked all the way to the bridge where she had let go of her first love.

Leaning against the bridge, Robin let out a deep sigh. After awhile she felt the presence of someone standing behind her. Looking back, Robin had to blink a few times in order to make sure she was seeing things clearly. There standing in front of her was Stone, smiling at her just as he had been doing the last time she had seen him.

"Stone?"

"Hey Robin. Surprised to see me?"

"A tad bit." Robin watched as Stone walked a little closer, surrounded by a soft light.

"I told you, I would always be here, in your heart. Just because I haven't shown up in awhile doesn't mean I haven't been watching you every second of the day."

Robin sighed as she looked at her first love. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore, Stone."

"He's good for you, Robin. You have a way of changing people for the better. I know that Patrick doesn't seem thrilled about being a father but he's just scared. He will come around, Robin, I promise."

Robin nodded as she let Stone's words wash over her. "Have you been watching Sonny?"

Stone nodded. "He will be okay. It doesn't seem like it now, but Sonny will be just fine."

"I wish there was something I could do. I just feel so helpless."

"Well there is one thing you could do. You and I both know who he needs right now and it isn't Kate."

"You think so?"

"I know. Robin, I have to go now, but remember that I still love you and everything will be just fine. Remember that." Robin watched as Stone disappeared, leaving her alone again.

Reaching in her purse, she grabbed her cell phone and held it her hand for a few minutes before dialing the number. She just hoped that she was doing the right thing.

"Hey Bren. I need to tell you something."


End file.
